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Body Image

Today I want to talk about Body Image. This is something I have battled with my entire life. When I watched a Dhar Mann video with a message of “you can’t heal if you don’t reveal” I decided to share my body image story. I have never really felt like I had a good body image of myself. When I was a teenager, I was only a size 12 and weighed 12 stone. To understand how much I weighed 12 stone is equal to 76Kg or 168lbs. I saw people wearing size 10 and having completely flat stomachs and I hated it. I wanted to be like them, but I could never get that way. Then throw in the fact I stopped growing at 5ft3 (160cm) I was disgusted with the way I looked. Later in life, when I was diagnosed with depression, I started gaining weight. The more disabled I became the bigger I got. Medications kept affecting my appetite and honestly, I found that I hated the way I look. My breasts are too big, and my stomach is almost double the size of when I was a teenager.

What are we doing to our world

The world has become a crazy place. Where people can be demonised for actually wanting to get vaccinated, and those doing the demonising using Donald Trump as an argument. I mean honestly, using a man who threw a tantrum, incited a riot on the capitol, and tried to back peddle on it. Honestly, I would never use Donald Trump to win ANY argument! I have even had people telling me what terminology I am allowed to use to describe myself. I use two terms, one term being “disabled person” and then using “differently abled” person. Someone took offence to the term “differently abled” and tried to tell me what I could and could not say. Did I miss a flight to communist China or North Korea? COVID-19 has created a very strange world, I am not sure I like what it is turning in to. I do what I can to spread love and joy in this world but it seems like it is a losing battle! Here are some things that you can do to help spread joy in the world tha

Friday Shout Out - Millicent Simmonds

Friday Shout Outs are going to be a new thing on my blog. Every week I will find one thing to give a shout out to, whether it is someone in my personal life, who will be anonymised for their privacy, a celebrity, or something that catches my eye. From this shut ins perspective, its my way to spread some positivity into the world. So, without any further delay, this weeks Friday Shout Out is for Millicent Simmonds. If you do not know who Millicent Simmonds is, she is the actress who has a starring role in A Quiet Place and the sequel which was released this year. So why is a celebrity getting a shout out. Well honestly, Millicent ROCKS. She plays a deaf character in the movie and is actually deaf. They did not train a hearing person to play a deaf character they actually went with a deaf actress. One, who for interviews has an interpreter to help her. The fact that she is deaf is not what makes her get a shout out, no, it is the fact

June 29th Anniversary

June 29th is almost upon us. This is a special day for me because on June 29th 2019 I moved into my very first flat. It was the first place I rented that was not attached to a school or work and I was really worried. You may wonder why I was worried. Well, I was worried because it was just over a year since I was finally diagnosed as autistic, and previous attempts at living alone never went well. In fact saying it didn’t go well is an understatement, I crashed and burned. But, I wanted to get my independence and be able to live alone. I did not want to get to a stage where my parents were no longer alive and I had no idea how to cope. It has been a turbulent two years. The first year I was commuting so much that I didn’t have much energy to go out and meet people and then the second year well, COVID-19 happened and I became all alone. Honestly it has had some really difficult moments. It has also had some fantastic moments. I

Thank You to Friends

Dear Courtney, Matt, David, Jennifer, Mathew and Lisa. You probably wont get to read this, although I will tag you in the hopes that you do. I wanted to let you know how much you all meant to me growing up. I was undiagnosed autistic and was only diagnosed at 31. I have also had a hard life. Friends was the only thing that showed me friendship and love and adoration. When I was not able to make friends, and didnt have that support network like was on the show I would watch and feel so happy. Later on in life, especially when I was diagnosed with depression and later PTSD, Friends always helps bring me out of my sadness. Infact when I was first diagnosed, I didnt know how I would survive a life of depression I would watch Friends and I realised that I had something to keep me going in the dark days. Friends saves me every time. Without friends I would struggle when I had depressive episodes. With my autism diagn

Lake Margorie Crash

Two years ago my mum and I took and international trip. We went to Stresa, Lago Maggiorie, Italy. It was an amazing trip and one key thing that we did was take cable cars and skie lifts up to the top of a mountain. It was BEAUTIFUL! We were level with the alps, the snow was fresh and the air was so clean. Which made me sad when my mum told me that the cable cars that we were subject to an accident. A cable car fell and crashed into the moutain, killing many. This is so sad! Honestly just thinking that this could have happened to us when we rode the cable cars - I was a little shaken to say the least. I would like to ask every one no matter your religion please pray for the following; Those who died; The families of those who died; The survivors; The people of Stresa and those who run the Cable Cars; I know this

15 May Scare

On Saturday 15 May I had a horrible scare. I went for a walk to my bank. It is a walk that I have done a few hundred times before. I had my stool with me incase I needed a seat but I was not expecting to need it much. I knew something was wrong from the moment I left my home. I hurt so much. I had no idea what was going on. I forced myself to walk as far as I could and almost collapsed. I set the stool up and sat down, I could not believe it. It was something that I could not understand. I had been doing so well with my physio and everything I did not know what caused this backslide. Normally when I did the walk stop 5 times max. This time I had to stop in the double digits. I had no idea what was going on. When I got home I closed my front door and broke down into tears. I have now been at my physio and they are concerned enough to set me for a further assessment. This backs up the fear that I have taken a bac