June 29th Anniversary

June 29th is almost upon us. This is a special day for me because on June 29th 2019 I moved into my very first flat. It was the first place I rented that was not attached to a school or work and I was really worried. You may wonder why I was worried. Well, I was worried because it was just over a year since I was finally diagnosed as autistic, and previous attempts at living alone never went well. In fact saying it didn’t go well is an understatement, I crashed and burned. But, I wanted to get my independence and be able to live alone. I did not want to get to a stage where my parents were no longer alive and I had no idea how to cope. It has been a turbulent two years. The first year I was commuting so much that I didn’t have much energy to go out and meet people and then the second year well, COVID-19 happened and I became all alone. Honestly it has had some really difficult moments. It has also had some fantastic moments. I

Thank You to Friends

Dear Courtney, Matt, David, Jennifer, Mathew and Lisa. You probably wont get to read this, although I will tag you in the hopes that you do. I wanted to let you know how much you all meant to me growing up. I was undiagnosed autistic and was only diagnosed at 31. I have also had a hard life. Friends was the only thing that showed me friendship and love and adoration. When I was not able to make friends, and didnt have that support network like was on the show I would watch and feel so happy. Later on in life, especially when I was diagnosed with depression and later PTSD, Friends always helps bring me out of my sadness. Infact when I was first diagnosed, I didnt know how I would survive a life of depression I would watch Friends and I realised that I had something to keep me going in the dark days. Friends saves me every time. Without friends I would struggle when I had depressive episodes. With my autism diagn

Lake Margorie Crash

Two years ago my mum and I took and international trip. We went to Stresa, Lago Maggiorie, Italy. It was an amazing trip and one key thing that we did was take cable cars and skie lifts up to the top of a mountain. It was BEAUTIFUL! We were level with the alps, the snow was fresh and the air was so clean. Which made me sad when my mum told me that the cable cars that we were subject to an accident. A cable car fell and crashed into the moutain, killing many. This is so sad! Honestly just thinking that this could have happened to us when we rode the cable cars - I was a little shaken to say the least. I would like to ask every one no matter your religion please pray for the following; Those who died; The families of those who died; The survivors; The people of Stresa and those who run the Cable Cars; I know this

15 May Scare

On Saturday 15 May I had a horrible scare. I went for a walk to my bank. It is a walk that I have done a few hundred times before. I had my stool with me incase I needed a seat but I was not expecting to need it much. I knew something was wrong from the moment I left my home. I hurt so much. I had no idea what was going on. I forced myself to walk as far as I could and almost collapsed. I set the stool up and sat down, I could not believe it. It was something that I could not understand. I had been doing so well with my physio and everything I did not know what caused this backslide. Normally when I did the walk stop 5 times max. This time I had to stop in the double digits. I had no idea what was going on. When I got home I closed my front door and broke down into tears. I have now been at my physio and they are concerned enough to set me for a further assessment. This backs up the fear that I have taken a bac

Abled body people don't get it

Abled bodied people do not know how lucky they are at times. It can be really and truely frustrating to see. They do not have to worry about, "is this the day that I will not be able to walk a as far as I can" or "Is this the day that I will start having falls again?" They just get to go up and do what ever the hell they want. Abled bodied people then say "oh I cant imagine". The answer when I hear this is "no you bloody cant". I am not saying that it is a then and us situation however, I think it is important to say that you really do not know what we go through. Because you hopefully will never have to go through what we go through it does not mean you can sympathise with us either, and it is insulting to say that you do. What makes it even worse is when abled bodied people then pass judgement on you because you are not abled bodied. This happens a lot more than you think. I am not saying every abled bodied person behaves like th

Should we troll the trolls?

COVID-19 Trolls are terrible. I have seen some seriously nasty people out there during this pandemic. People who want to judge you for doing what is right for you. It is something that really winds me up. This has started to happen to me on my Thank You twitter account and it really REALLY pisses me off People do not know what I have been through during this pandemic and how I got through having COVID. How dare people judge me for getting tested or for anything else that I want to do for my family. I honestly feel like creating a blast list of all trolls so that everyone on Twitter knows who the trolls are. What do you think, maybe we start trolling the trolls? If you agree to a Blast list for the trolls, let me know. Stay safe and well out there!

Physical Disability - The Truth

Today I am going to write about being physically disabled. Unfortunately, you can’t see my physical disability. It is, however, something that really affects me. I have Kyphosis of the cervical spine, an extra disc in my lumbar spine, and degeneration of the facet joints. I also have hypermobility in my knees and ankles. This causes me a lot of pain on a daily basis. I have crutches for when my knees and ankles are hurting too much. Since having COVID last year I have been dealing with a lot of pain in my knees and ankles again. Unless you see me on crutches you don’t get to see that I have a disability. Because of my spine, I have to carry a stool with me everywhere I go. This is so that I can sit down when I get too much pain. This can be something embarrassing as if it is raining, I need to put it into a different bag as I can't carry it on my shoulder. It can get me some weird looks when I have to put my stool up in a shop or outside the shop. It is really difficult for me