Posts

Showing posts with the label Body Image

Body Image

Today I want to talk about Body Image. This is something I have battled with my entire life. When I watched a Dhar Mann video with a message of “you can’t heal if you don’t reveal” I decided to share my body image story. I have never really felt like I had a good body image of myself. When I was a teenager, I was only a size 12 and weighed 12 stone. To understand how much I weighed 12 stone is equal to 76Kg or 168lbs. I saw people wearing size 10 and having completely flat stomachs and I hated it. I wanted to be like them, but I could never get that way. Then throw in the fact I stopped growing at 5ft3 (160cm) I was disgusted with the way I looked. Later in life, when I was diagnosed with depression, I started gaining weight. The more disabled I became the bigger I got. Medications kept affecting my appetite and honestly, I found that I hated the way I look. My breasts are too big, and my stomach is almost double the size of when I was a teenager.

Dear Dhar Mann

Before I went to bed tonight, I was watching some of your videos. Because of this, I knew I had to write this. When something gets into my head, I can’t do anything else until I get it out. I know you will probably never read this and even if you do, you probably get 1,000,000 or more letters like this, so a response is negligible. So, I am under no illusion that I will get a response which is also why I am writing it on my blog. For me, your videos have been a lifesaver. To use your words “you see”. I grew up in a family where abuse ran wild. Some people call how I feel “Middle Child Syndrome”, I call it surviving abuse. My family’s mantra was “don’t trust what she says” or “what can we blame her for”. So, I didn’t have the best family life, and still don’t. Between the abuse I suffered and the undiagnosed autism I found myself in situations as an adult that I was ill-equipped to handle. This further put a wrench in any relationship with my family. I was told in my late 20s my

Body Beautiful

Hi all If you are struggling with body image, I would like to say that you should all watch Ru Pauls Drag Race. I have had body image issues for years. I believe that part of this is because the LGBT community had not recognized Gender Fluid. Growing up I was never feeling completely like a tomboy or a girly girl. In the 80s and 90s, you were either a girly girl or a tomboy. I would feel more masculine one day and more feminine the other day. There were days I was dressed up like a boy and other days I was wearing dresses. Some days I wanted to fix my hair and makeup and look pretty and other days I would just want to run around climb trees and play with the boys. I never understood why this was. So, I had a lot of body issues. On the days where I felt girly, I hated my size. I was a UK size 12 and maybe 11 stone and just felt fat. Other days I would hate myself because I was not muscly and strong and I felt weak. This has led me into adulthood where I still hate the way my body is for