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Showing posts with the label Abuse Survivor

Abuse and by-standers

I had a boyfriend once who said to me after watching a TV show about abuse survivors, “why did they not just leave, I would have”. This statement really makes me angry because it is a mentality that some people have having never gone through it.   Abuse survivors don’t start off with being abused. Everything seems normal at first and the abuser starts off slow. They may want you by their side all the time or regularly check in with you multiple times during the day.   From there abusers can get worse. It can start with denigration, isolation, and controlling finances. By the time you realize what is going on you have no connections to anyone outside and your afraid of what will happen. If the abuse turns violent it can lead you to fear for your life. It can make you afraid for your life if you stay and if you leave. Often not knowing what would happen if you left causes such concern that you stay just because you don’t want to find out what would happen.   By this stage in