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Today I want to talk about Body Image. This is something I have battled with my entire life. When I watched a Dhar Mann video with a message of “you can’t heal if you don’t reveal” I decided to share my body image story.
I have never really felt like I had a good body image of myself. When I was a teenager, I was only a size 12 and weighed 12 stone. To understand how much I weighed 12 stone is equal to 76Kg or 168lbs. I saw people wearing size 10 and having completely flat stomachs and I hated it. I wanted to be like them, but I could never get that way. Then throw in the fact I stopped growing at 5ft3 (160cm) I was disgusted with the way I looked.
Later in life, when I was diagnosed with depression, I started gaining weight. The more disabled I became the bigger I got. Medications kept affecting my appetite and honestly, I found that I hated the way I look. My breasts are too big, and my stomach is almost double the size of when I was a teenager.
I have never had a good relationship with food. Because of the undiagnosed autism I never really knew why. I stopped having an interest in learning about food and, never learned about how to cook or how to eat well. As an adult living alone, I stuck to the only food that I knew I liked eating. If I could not find the exact ingredient, then I would not make it.
I then had glasses and bad teeth. The teeth issues happened because I grind my teeth and have been doing so since I was a kid, and it was not caught. This sucks!
I have looked at personal trainers to help me but because of my financial issues I can’t afford them. With the issues I have with my spine I need to find someone who can take that into consideration when helping me.
There are so many factors that can impact anyone’s body image.
The media is a big thing in how people see themselves. The media, television and movies have a lot to answer for. There is such a lack of diversity in the people who are in these movies and shows. I can only think of two actresses who showed some body difference Millicent Simmonds, profoundly deaf, and Kristen Vangsness, not a skinny and leggy beauty. We need more diversity in the media because otherwise you are telling young girls that to be successful you need to be skinny, tall and bomb shell beauty.
Peer pressure affects people’s body image. This could be something that happens in school and adult life. We need to fight back against peer pressure.
Body image is something that we need to band together to tackle. Honestly, we should be telling girls that it is ok to be who you are and when bullies start then they are dealt with.
Maybe one day I will be able to afford the support I need to feel like myself again. To Learn about food, get a trainer who will help me get into better shape despite my disabilities, a nutritionist who can help me get a diet to help me eat healthier as well as teach me how to cook. I need the support. Until that day however, I will just have to hope and pray that I will not be this weight for ever.
If you know someone has a bad self-image, remember they don’t need you to make them feel bad, they already do. Support them where you can.
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