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Showing posts from March, 2021

Loss

This year has been a wild ride when it comes to loss. It has been seriously crazy with the pandemic and people have lost a lot this last year. Even worse people are not getting a chance to say goodbye. Loss is something that is hard to deal with. I have lost a lot. When I worked for the NAAFI, I lost 6 people I knew in the line of duty within a small space of time. That same year I lost my grandfather who had dementia. By this point, I had been diagnosed as having depression. I now can’t attend funerals because I have massive panic attacks. A few years later I then lost my cousin who was killed in a car accident. Honestly, loss is something that we all will experience, at some point in our lives. Unfortunately, during this pandemic people are not able to say goodbye to their loved ones. Try and remember the good times. This is something that I found helped me. Remember you will never forget them you will always have them in your heart. Remind yourself that pain is something that

Women and Gender Fluid people born women

In light of the Sarah Everard murder, I think it is important to talk about safety for women and Gender Fluid people born women.  Being a woman can be a scary thing. You are always worried about what happens when you are out on your own. It is something that we always have to be concerned about. It has also something that you worry about especially when you see news where a police officer committed the crime like in the Sarah Everard murder. So, here are some things that can help with safety. Don’t walk down dark alleys alone if you can avoid it. If you can’t avoid it, be on the phone with someone else whilst you are walking there. Take some self-defense classes so that if you walk alone then you can protect yourself. Remember, if someone holds a weapon to you, following their instructions, it could be safer than fighting. It can mean the difference between Rape and being murdered. If you can safely get away from an attacker, then do so. If you live in a ground floor property or a

Celebrity Crushes and Supporting Each Other

I would like to say to every woman out there, stop hating on other women for the men they fall for. Also do not tell another woman that their celebrity crush is “not good”. Women can be very judgemental of who others like. Even when it comes down to celebrity crushes. I can’t believe how many people, when I was growing up, judged me on which celebrities I had a crush on. Honestly, it was disheartening. I know that Robert Davi, will never be in love with me or that Tom Selleck will knock on my door with a flower in his mouth. Billy Burke is not going to come and serenade me. Matt Hardy is not coming to sweep me off my feet. Shemar Moore is not going to get down on one knee for me. I know this but having crushes and fancying someone does not have to be realistic. It is something that we can all have, a dream. We need to celebrate our own dreams and value the fact that people have different tastes. Respect each other. Stay safe out there people.

Anti Lockdown Protests - Morons Incorporated

I am getting exceedingly sick and tired of the Anti Lockdown protests.  Honestly, how can these people think what they are doing is going to help? I believe in free speech and, I believe in the right to protest, but in the midst of a pandemic, responsibility is called for. In the midst of a pandemic where thousands of people have lost their lives, and many people have had to face isolation for months on end, reasonableness should not be sacrificed. You may not like lockdowns, but who are you to put lives on the line? The pictures I saw of people who were not socially distancing, not wearing a mask, and being downright moronic scares me. I have had to shield off my own back since March 2020 which has been difficult as I have had no support from the government. I have sacrificed seeing my family and my friends for the greater good. You morons in the Anti-Lockdown movement jeopardize all of the sacrifices myself, and people like me have made over the last year.  How dare you! You wa

Response to the Vulgarity I received

I was planning on doing a post about the anti-lockdown protests, or as I call it the collection of anti-lockdown morons. However, I looked in my DMs on my thank you campaign Twitter account and saw a lot of vulgar aimed at me for supporting the police. This is a reaction to Sarah Everard’s body being found and a police officer arrested for her murder. So, again I will say, I support the MAJORITY of the police. By that I mean, the 99% that join the force to make a difference, who do not let their personal ideology get in the way of the duty they have or the responsibility. No police force is perfect. They have the 1% who do abuse their authority, or are morons who let their moronic nature interfere with doing the job. Now you will say, “what happened at the vigil was wrong”. NO SHIT SHERLOCK! However, let me ask you the question, You are a police officer, you are asked to attend and do security at the vigil of a murder victim who was killed by an officer on your force. Would you

Love of an Animal

I wanted to write today about the love you can get from animals. At the start of the pandemic, I was alone. I had no one. I was here on my own, shielding off my own back because my medical professionals would not see the truth. Before the 2 nd lockdown, I got my two guinea pigs. I have two girls called Chocolate and Bright-Eyes. They show me love all the time. All they ask for from me is food and hugs and I get all the love I need. They are the reason why I have been able to survive so long with my sanity. Animals are important in your life. If you have a pet, they give you unconditional love and make your world so much nicer. Chocolate and Bright-Eyes make an amazing squeaking noise when I goto the fridge. They are then waiting for me at the edge of their cage excited to get hugs and food. It makes me smile every time. If you are low and have the capability get yourself a pet. I would say only get one if you can afford it. Don’t put yourself at risk financially.

Beauty and the Beast

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  No this is not a post about the Disney movies or the cartoon. I want to talk about beauty and the beast. Women, no matter their look always feel like they’re the “beast”. That is if they are not the “bombshell beauty” that society says is the best. Me – at best I consider myself average. I am no Amanda Tapping! I also know that there is this view that all women want the male “bombshell beauties”. Not the case. Well, not the case for me. For me what is attractive is variable. If you stuck all my ex’s in a line you would find it hard to pick out the common denominator amongst them, except that they're all men. Don’t take my word for it, see the picture below. I have pulled together pictures of various different celebrities that I have had a crush on and fancied in my lifetime. I would ask that you find 5 things that link them other than the fact that they’re men and celebrities. You need to find 5 things that link them ALL.   Did you find anything that linked them all?

Writing through Writers Block and Ginny and Georgia

Writer’s block is a bitch. Honestly, writing a blog whilst shielding is difficult. Most of the things you get inspiration from comes from everyday life. But what do you do when everyday life is the same 4 walls? You get writer’s block. With that being said, I watched the second half of Ginny and Georgia today and I am amazed. TV writers have moved away from candy floss TV and come up with Ginny and Georgia. Do not get me wrong, there are some candy floss moments for example the Character Hunter writing a song about Ginny, or doing an elaborate tap routine on her 16 th birthday down the halls of school… Not real life! Especially not realistic if you have multiple disabilities and look the way I do. There are no men tap dancing for me or writing songs about me. You may think by that paragraph that I don’t like the show… Oh, contraire my friend. Georgia is a single mother who has survived a lot in life, Max a lesbian high schooler, Marcus troubled teen having sex with Ginny, MANG h

End Run

Here in the UK, we are starting to see an ending to this pandemic hopefully. However, it is not a moment to get complacent. Just because we are seeing a possible end in sight to this pandemic it does not mean we “go back to normal”. It means the opposite. We do not know what will happen with this virus. All we know that it currently is able to be dealt with by the vaccine. Viruses however mutate and what works currently does not mean it will continue. We also do not know what will happen come wintertime. Keep safe and look after each other. When everyone is vaccinated we can hopefully keep out of lockdown, however, if you go nuts then there could be surges and we end up back inside. This is the time that we work together.

PIP Breaches Human Rights

I recently completed a course in Equality and Diversity and part of that course gives the student a major insight into the Human Rights Act.   Since completing the course I have realized the PIP Benefit breaches my Human Rights! So, I want to say, the MUST be a disability benefit that is not means-tested. The reason for this is that it entices disabled people to work. Most people with disabilities must make a decision about what will work for them, working, or being on benefits. The reason for this is that when a disabled person works, from my own experience 50%-60% of the disposable income from the salary goes to doing things to keep them in work. Therefore, their ability to do basic things like getting new glasses, getting a haircut, buying new clothes becomes more an occasional extra rather than something that they can do on a regular basis. This is why a non-means-tested disability benefit is important. It would help reduce unemployment in the country and bring more money in ta

Learning through annoyance

There is fun to be had with your disabilities. I recently had fun with a colleague who did not know what Dragon software was. This is something that has been around for a long while so to not know what it was is to me, ridiculous. I had said to her “I have dragon, to help me work”. The look of confusion on her face was amazing. I could see the cogs in her brain turning. She said to me “you have a dragon?” I looked at her in sheer surprise. For one thing I had not said that I had a dragon, I had said I have dragon. My response to this question was not to say, no it is speech-to-text software. That would have been the kind thing to do. My response was “Yes, I have a dragon, his name is Bob” and then I walked off. It is not something that I should be proud of but I am. Having disabilities is hard enough when people are not fully listening. I know it was a minor error on my colleagues’ part, but it is something that is frustrating. When I must think about everything I say and, seco

Dear Dhar Mann

Before I went to bed tonight, I was watching some of your videos. Because of this, I knew I had to write this. When something gets into my head, I can’t do anything else until I get it out. I know you will probably never read this and even if you do, you probably get 1,000,000 or more letters like this, so a response is negligible. So, I am under no illusion that I will get a response which is also why I am writing it on my blog. For me, your videos have been a lifesaver. To use your words “you see”. I grew up in a family where abuse ran wild. Some people call how I feel “Middle Child Syndrome”, I call it surviving abuse. My family’s mantra was “don’t trust what she says” or “what can we blame her for”. So, I didn’t have the best family life, and still don’t. Between the abuse I suffered and the undiagnosed autism I found myself in situations as an adult that I was ill-equipped to handle. This further put a wrench in any relationship with my family. I was told in my late 20s my

Are we going back to normality?

I know there is much talk about when we can go back to normal now that Boris has set out his road map. I am going to say that I will be cautiously optimistic about this. We had false hope at the end of the 1 st lockdown and we were again landed into the 2 nd lockdown. So, I am going to say I am cautiously optimistic. However, let's talk about the reality for those who are shielding and going back to “normality”. I have been shielding now since March 2020, and I have sustained muscle weakness. This rears its ugly head when I am trying to push myself to do extra steps the next day I am sore as hell. This would be 4000 steps and I hurt like hell. I am also autistic. I have been alone since March 2020 and I am uber concerned about my interactions back in the workplace. Honestly, I want to make sure that I am ok enough not to be running around hugging everyone. So for me, I am going to have to take the following steps that I will need to take to make sure that I am ok with being i

Shielding is HARD

Shielding is really hard. It is really hard especially when you are living alone. At the start of the pandemic, I felt like “I will power through this”. Honestly now, I am considering teaching my guinea pigs Italian so that they respond to commands in Italian. I had to stop learning Italian because I realized that my talking to myself had evolved from speaking to myself in English to speaking to myself in Italian. It is also hard when you are having to shield off your own back and have no support from the government as their ideas on asthmatics is flawed. The physical implications to shielding as well have not been good. I now struggle with muscle weakness which means I am having to go to physio bi-weekly… SOOOO MUCH FUNNNN. If you are struggling with shielding and living alone I would ask that you all remember that it is ok not to be ok. I will repeat that, IT'S OK NOT TO BE OK! Seek help if you need it and please remember you will be ok. Stay safe and well out there,