Just be you
So, I want to tell you a funny thing that happened today. I
was on the phone with someone and we were talking about my blog and my goals in
life. I said to him “when I started becoming really disabled” and he laughed at
how I put it. Not a mean laugh but a laugh to say it was funny. He didn’t know
why that statement was funny he just found it funny. I had to laugh, still don’t
know why it was funny though. I am sure this will be picked up next week.
I had been explaining to him that before “I started getting
really disabled” I had these dreams and ambitions that never seemed to come to
fruition. When my disability labels came in thick and fast, I was low for a
while. It was at that point that I made the decision that ok, I wasn’t going to
run a marathon, or be a famous actress, I am not going to write a multi-million-dollar
book series or set a world record and that was ok. So, I sat down and
decided what was important to me. My decision was that my life goal would be “to
leave the world a nicer place than when I found it.” This can be very open-ended. It could mean doing something like Captain Tom or making sure that you
leave at least one person a day/week/month in a happier or nicer place. It is
not a quantifiable goal. I know the way I live my life now, when I get to the Purley
Gates or whatever is waiting for me on the other side and say “You gave me
dyslexia, autism, depression, PTSD, asthma, eye-sight issues, spinal problem, agonizing
periods and I survived abuse and bullying. I took all of that and decided to
live a life where I did my best to make the world around me nicer. If that is
not good enough then send me downstairs.”
It made me think about how disability is really perceived in
the world. What is “becoming really disabled?”. For me I guess it was when I
started having more labels than I had fingers on one hand or when I started
taking just under double digits in pills.
Disability again should not be quantified. It should be your
own definition of what is and is not disabled. I know someone with brain
injuries and is in a wheelchair. This does not stop her from doing things like
sailing. I am autistic and dyslexic, and I have a decent job.
Don’t let anyone tell you whether you are disabled or how to
quantify what you have. That is your choice. It is important for you to be
comfortable and safe with how you perceive yourself. Never let someone tell you
how you should behave or put limitations on you.
Just be you 😊
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